The passage of time had always been something so interesting to you, so interesting yet so tragic. It was interesting to watch how quickly a month could pass, how slowly the next week could slug by. But it was tragic to remember that you would spend each passing moment yearning for another, another who could not be yours.
It wasn’t that the thought consumed you, that it took up every waking moment of your life. However, everytime you were called to action, you were reminded of the person who couldn’t be by your side. The person who was meant to be your partner in battle, your wingman in every mission. But the past was the past, and the only thing you could do was hope that someday you wouldn’t have to think about him.
“Apex, you with me?” Your head jerked to the side as you turned to face Maverick, sitting beside you at the bar as you nursed your drink. “I asked if you wanted anything other than water, it’s apparently on me.”
Your eyes darted to the bartender, who you’d met before. “How long have I been comatose?” You asked, nearly dumbfounded by how you had missed an entire conversation. You’d been to this bar once in the past, and you knew when a round was on someone a giant, unmissable, loud bell rang. Meaning that you’d been so distracted by thoughts of the past, that you didn’t even hear that.
“Probably from the moment you sat down, you look like you need a drink.” Penny answered, motioning to the bar. “It’ll be on the house. I’ve seen that look before.”
Of course, Penny of all people would understand. Maverick had broken her heart in the past, stories you heard from him, stories you figured out on your own when your old time friend came to visit without his girlfriend. “I’m okay, I don’t drink on missions.” You answered, glancing down at the bar for a moment. “Thank you, though.”
She smiled and nodded, she could tell you were sincere with her thanks. “Are you ready to become a teacher?” Maverick asked, watching a snort escape your nose. A smile widened over the man’s lips as you looked over at him.
“I’m probably younger than some of the people I’ll be teaching.” You weren’t sure who exactly your pupils were. While Maverick had been given that briefing, Cyclone sent you to set up the graphics for the mission and make sure the ships were up to par. While he knew he was asking Maverick if he would fly for Top Gun, you were his first pick to begin with. There was no question if you were up for it.
“True, but you’re the most qualified.”
That much was true. You may be rather young to have as many accolades as you did, but every honor and title you had was something you earned. You’d graduated top of your class, top of every class. But back then, you were more youthful and happy. You were excited to get to fly with your best friend, your best friend who you’d met during training but your best friend never-the-less. Once that was taken away from you, you’d taken the heartbreak and anguish and turned it into a flourishing career. Hence the callsign, Apex. You were the top of the top, the best of the best in the eyes of a considerable few people in the Navy - but anyone who knew you personally, knew you were taking out some deep-seated emotion you refused to go to therapy for.
As you went to respond, you noticed a shift in the atmosphere in the room. Conversations seemed to lull, from everyone. Your head turned to the door to watch a man walk in, to see the face you had been dreaming about seeing again every night, standing in front of you. Even from afar, you could feel the energy radiating off of him, the draw to be closer and know what it would feel like to hug him again, but that bridge with Bradley Bradshaw had been burned long ago.
While Maverick looked away, you couldn’t help the way that your head fell. Your hand covered your face as you tried to keep yourself obscured for just long enough that you could slip out without much notice. That moment came when he made his way over to the other recruits. You slipped money for the water to Penny before heading out of the door, not bothering to look back for anything.
It all felt so overwhelming. Like a rush of memories of every moment you’d had with Bradley came back. From the first moment you met the man, to the day he was given the callsign Rooster. Every touch, every laugh, every hug… it all came back to you. Your head was rushing with emotions, pounding against your skull for some kind of release from this sudden crash around you. It was difficult to ignore the pounding of your heart as you worked to regulate your breathing, as you fought the tears attempting to slip from your eyes.
The feeling faded away slowly when you felt an arm around your shoulder. Maverick, watching in for the same face you were. You felt the same hurt from him, the same pain that you were feeling, the longing and sadness, the feeling like he’d betrayed someone. While you knew his hurt came from how much he missed Goose, he knew your pain came from your longing for Bradley. He knew how you felt about the man, everyone who knew you at the time did.
Eventually, you both let go of the scene in front of you and went to your respective temporary homes. As you fell asleep that night, the only dreams that overtook you were memories from the past.
“You’re not as fast as you think you are, you know.” Bradley said, leaning back against the wall of your hotel room as you turned to look at him. “I’m just saying.”
“Yeah, well, at least I’m faster than you.” You teased, flicking the balled up straw you’d been holding at him. He made no effort to dodge it.
“Real mature, Apex.”
“Can it, Rooster.”
You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat, the laugh that followed from him only making your face brighter as he slid down against the wall to sit. You walked over toward him to sit with him, watching the sky as you calmed down. It was nearing nightfall, as the purple and pink sunset covered the horizon of the midwestern town you were staying in. It was beautiful, but you couldn’t stop your eyes from traveling over to Bradley. Someday, you wished you could tell him that you thought he was more beautiful than even a perfect summer night such as this one. But as your eyes connected, as you found utter softness in his, you decided this connection wasn’t worth risking.
“We’ll fly together after we finish here, you know that right?” He asked, letting his hand brush over yours. It was nearly imperceptible, but your fingers tangled with his anyway.
“I won’t take orders to go on a mission without you.” You responded, your voice softer than you intended. But he could only smile, a genuine and soft smile. “Can’t let you get any more scars, now can we?”
“I thought you liked my scars!” He said, feigning offense as though he had missed what you were actually saying. But you knew he was only kidding, he never misunderstood what you said to him.
“‘Course I do, silly. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”
No more words followed as his soft smile turned to face the sky, only growing as your head rested on his shoulder. You could never be a hundred percent positive about what the future would bring. But in that moment, the only future you could see was one where you flew alongside Bradley Bradshaw, your best friend and love of your life.
But the soft, happy memory faded away. The bright lights turned dim as Bradley jerked away from you. As you looked around for just a moment to notice you were in a different room.
“How the hell could you let him do this to me?!” Bradley shouted, hands in his hair as he tugged on it. “I mean, wasn’t that the whole thing? You wanted to fly with me, you f*cking wanted to.”
“I do-”
“You don’t, if you did you wouldn’t have let Maverick do this. I mean, you talk to him more than I do! You let this happen, you could’ve stopped it.”
“I didn’t even know he was going to do it, Bradley-”
“Don’t ‘Bradley’ me, Apex. You f*cking knew. You-You’re lying!” It was clear he was emotional, clear as day as you watched his red face look anywhere but at you. But once he finally did, once your eyes locked, you saw nothing less than hate in them. You jerked further away from him than you already were, nearly feeling your heart drop. “So go be with your best friend, leave me in the f*cking dust.”
“Is that what you really want, Rooster?”
“Yeah, that’s what I really want.”
The door to your room was already open in your dream, as you walked through it and went into your room. You remembered the feeling of despair as you glanced at the very porch you’d sat with him only a week before, as you collapsed onto the bed in a fit of tears. That night would be an absolute hellish nightmare for you, the night you screamed at Maverick and begged him not to pull Rooster’s papers. The night the older man found out you were in love with Bradley Bradshaw, even tried to reason that you should be glad that Bradley didn’t run the risk of getting hurt anymore.
You woke up bright and early, tears staining your cheeks as you got up and got ready for the day. It was difficult to power through the early morning knowing that you were only hours away from Rooster being forced to look at you, to work with you. That the man you had never stopped loving was going to be within arm’s reach, and yet completely and utterly unreachable. In hindsight, perhaps you should’ve fought with him. Fought to keep your friendship alive, just admitted that you could never betray him like that because you were in love with him. Hell, maybe you should’ve never forgiven Maverick for what he did. But the past needed to be left in the past, and Maverick had gone out of his way to make things right with you. He’d mentored you, personally, for years. Every skill you had you owed to him, it was difficult to lose such a bond.
The minute you’d been dreading came quicker than you expected as yourself and Maverick were introduced to the recruits, as you stood in front of them and took them all in. A few, you remembered from the bar. Hangman had made himself very visible to both of you, though it was clear he remembered the way he had talked to his new teacher, Maverick, as he looked at him.
“Apex here readied all of your ships for training today, if anything goes wrong, you know who to blame.” Maverick said, joking around with you as you only rolled your eyes and shot him a nearly threatening glare.
“You’ll find that everything is above average in the ship.” The moment ‘above average’ came out of your mouth, you could see something threatening to spill out of Hangman’s. “Say what you’re thinking and I’ll dump coffee on yours tomorrow.”
“Just as feisty as the rumors say.” He retorted, holding up his hands as if he was yielding to you. The smile on his face remained, however.
You only motioned for Maverick to continue, knowing that the time for a conversation with a recruit wasn’t now. You allowed him to give his presentation, since you really were only there to teach flight - the planning was on Maverick. However, this lull on conversation for you only spelled trouble as you glanced over at Rooster. You could tell that he was purposefully ignoring your gaze, though you had felt his burning holes in your head the moment you walked in. It was difficult to look at him, difficult when you had been yearning to see him again for so long, and difficult knowing that he wanted nothing to do with you.
By the time you were in the air, you could only do what you always did - work your ass off so you didn’t have to think about Bradley Bradshaw. The first training exercise was an easy one, trying to evade hits from the enemy. In this case, you would fly with the pilots and show them how to avoid being hit by Maverick. It seemed simple, easy. There were twelve recruits, why did you need to speak to one specific person? You could be professional, even if you needed to speak to Bradley. At the end of the day, your awkward relationship with him wasn’t the anger that was held between himself and Maverick. It felt like some deeply held in sadness, something you could only veil so thinly before people started to notice.
As you flew through the skies, you watched as Maverick took out person after people. Only yourself, Hangman and Rooster remained. You fell into formation with Hangman rather quickly. Though he wasn’t the kindest person you’d ever met, he was easy to work with, and he was definitely a damn good pilot. You listened in as he tried to ask Rooster about the tension between him and Maverick, a question which Rooster had no interest in asking.
Maverick was quick to interrupt it, getting ready to go into ‘battle’ with Rooster to take him out of the playing field. You were quick to jump in the way of the attack.
“Good teamwork, Apex. But you’ve left yourself exposed, do not sacrifice yourself if you don’t have to.” You were the next to be taken out of the game, and it was only fair that you were sent to do your two-hundred pushups when this was all over. You flew back to the base, but as you flew, you could hear the conversation on the other end. They were much, much lower and closer to the ground than they were supposed to be.
The feeling of your heart pounding in your chest returned as you listened to their conversation, as you used everything in you to not interject on it. What happened between them was personal, no matter how you felt about it, you had no say in the matter. You just hoped that what Maverick was doing, the unorthodox training, wasn’t going to get you into any trouble like you were sure it will for him.
Regardless, you landed on the runway rather quickly. “Sure the teacher needs to do this?” Hondo asked, watching you climb out of the seat and onto the ground.
“It’s only fair, isn’t it? Can’t be a hypocrite.” You never much liked push-ups, but if this was to be a fully functional team, then you needed to be able to do what everyone else was doing. Just because you were instructing them, doesn’t change the fact that you were all equals on this mission.
You got into the correct position for the exercise, trying to ignore the knowledge of who would be returning soon. You’d gotten to around a hundred before Rooster returned, before your push-ups weakened as you tried not to think about your emotions. It was easier working and bottling things up when he wasn’t right there in front of you, but when you were near him, when you could feel him near you, it was harder than ever before to ignore how badly you missed him, to ignore how your heart swelled when you remembered a particularly happy day with him.
The thoughts had you so distracted that you didn’t notice you were at the end of your push-ups until Hondo reached two hundred and tapped you on the shoulder. You were quick to stand up, brushing yourself off as you tried to ignore the hard stare of Rooster. Once you finally cautioned a glance over at him, it was as if your entire world stopped when you locked eyes. It was the first time you held his stare since that last night with him. That night, they had been so full of hate that you knew you would never see him again.
It had been a fear of yours to lock eyes with him again, a fear that you would see that same hatred in his eyes even after such a long passage of time. However, when your eyes locked, you saw nothing but pain. Pain, hurt, regret, everything but hate. You wanted nothing more than to go over there and tell him that you’re sorry for not doing anything when you heard him crying through the walls, even though you knew he could hear you crying all night long as well. You just wished there was something you could do, something to make up for the lost times or just convince him that you had nothing to do with what Maverick did.
The sound of your voice being called drew you out of your trance, Cyclone motioning for you to follow himself and Maverick inside. You found your way to the chair in his office, watching as he yelled at Maverick. “I don’t have these problems with her, why is that? Apex has a history with Rooster too.”
“She had no reason to go that low, sir.”
“With all due respect, Maverick did cross a line today. However, some lines need to be crossed for the sake of the mission. They need to be prepared for anything, sir.”
The man ran a hand over his face, seemingly disappointed that his ‘top choice’ was siding with the man he didn’t even want to have here in the first place. But he kept his aggressions on Maverick, tightening his leash around him. “Keep an eye on him, or it’ll be you too.”
“Understood, sir.”
The moment all of you were out of the room, you found yourself exhaling a sigh of relief. As horrible as that conversation had been, the stress of it took your mind off of Rooster for a moment as you headed back to where you were staying. Just about the moment your head hit the pillows, you were out like a light. Whatever dreams did come, were ones you didn’t remember in the morning. You were just glad to not be reminded of your past with Rooster again, to not have to think about how badly you missed him with everything in you.
The next couple of days of training went by just as you had expected them to. While the pain of being around someone you used to love, someone you still truly do love, never really subsided in you, it became more bearable. It was like a pain you were used to, something tolerable. Like the taste of cough syrup - you need to drink it to feel better, even if it tastes like someone made it for the explicit purpose of making people wish they never had taste buds.
It wasn’t until one specific day that things went wrong. “Flying fast is a key to success, but it isn’t the only key.” You said, standing in front of the recruits as you looked around at all of them. “Just because you fly quickly, doesn’t mean you fly accurately. Flying slowly but staying off course doesn’t exactly help you either. Take risks, but make sure they’re well worth it.”
Advice you couldn’t even take yourself, when it came to anything other than flying. Every single team that came back from the mission failed, and while Maverick spoke to them about it, you could tell that much of his words surrounding it came from how much he missed Goose. The only person, the only team, that reached the target was Rooster.
It was difficult to watch the way people were speaking to him, it wasn’t until Hangman said something to him that you spoke up, until he, rather rudely, told Rooster that he wasn’t flying fast enough. “That’s for us to decide, not you.” It was meant to come out simple, but your words sounded bitter if anything. You managed to catch quite a few people off guard, moreso when Hangman felt compelled to apologize for speaking out of turn.
Maverick, however, remained focused on Rooster. It was as clear as purified water that everything he was saying to him was personal in his heart. You knew that, but you didn’t believe the other people in the room did. Even if they didn’t know, that doesn’t mean that Rooster himself didn’t know - because you were sure he did.
“I think what Maverick is trying to say could be a lesson for all of us. Thinking can save your life, but it can also get you killed.” While a few people, mainly Phoenix and Bob, took your words to heart and nodded with agreement - clearly hoping to ease the tension just as much as you were, Maverick pushed on.
His words toward Rooster were far from over, you couldn’t help yourself from turning to look at him with utter dismay. Everything Maverick was doing in this moment was utterly unprofessional, and must’ve been hurtful to rooster. But your upcoming interjection fell flat the moment Hangman brought himself into the conversation. The moment the scolding began, he was quick to jump in and attack Rooster, and now he was going for the kill and bringing up Goose. You couldn’t believe he would do something like that, but you could see the lunge coming from a mile away. And truthfully, even though you were supposed to be scolding Rooster for such immature behavior, you couldn’t help but understand his actions.
Despite the anger in his actions, the anger written on his face. You could see the hurt behind Rooster’s eyes, the pain at the mention of his father by someone who was trying to make a mockery of it. In that moment, you wished more than anything that you still had the ability to hold him in your arms. That you could pet his hair, remind him that he wasn’t alone. While the class was dismissed, everyone in the room slowly dispersed.
Everyone but two people, that was. Your eyes followed Rooster as he made his way to the door, you remembered the mistake you made last time you were with him in a vulnerable state. You said nothing, you did nothing. You didn’t help him at all, and you couldn’t make that same mistake.
“Are you going to be okay?” You asked him, your voice more meek than you intended it to be. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve the comfort in the moment.
“I’ll be okay.” He answered, turning back to you for a moment. “I’m sorry that we ruined Maverick’s lesson.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, Hangman did. He was out of line.” You wanted to say something personal, to tell him that you were here for him. But all you could do as you held eye contact with him was fight off the urge to cry. “Don’t let anyone speak to you like that, Rooster. You deserve better.”
“Thank you.” He mumbled, a small but visible smile on his lips. It was nothing like the memory from your dreams, the big and comfortable smile on his face. But it was soft, it was meaningful, and you wanted nothing more than to be able to see him smile again. Rooster walked out of the room rather shortly after, despite your wish for him to stay.
There was a moment, a moment in which the only emotion that filled you was regret. Regret that you didn’t chase after him, that you didn’t try and reason with him and tell him that you couldn’t live with the tension between the both of you any longer. A similar regret to the one that you felt that night that you argued with him, the night his papers were pulled by Maverick. But there was nothing you could do. He would forever blame you for that, even if you had nothing to do with it.
That night led to nothing but you lying awake in bed, reminiscing on the past and remembering how you felt on that horrible night. It was never something that left your mind, the feeling of wishing that you could just go and see Rooster. Eventually, you fell asleep, but the painful memories didn’t cease.
The starless night sky led to an utter downpour that night, you could only bitterly laugh as the thunder knocked the power in the hotel out over and over again, at least three times an hour. Of course, on the night your life would implode, the sky would do the same. It felt almost poetic in a way, even though this storm had been predicted for a long time - this storm of emotions, however, was something you had no preparation for.
Despite the loud cracks of thunder and lightning, the sound of the pouring rain crashing against the window, all you could hear was the sounds of Rooster crying on the other side of the wall. The wall of the double room you were assigned in the hotel, because everyone knew that you’d find your way to spending the night with each other anyway. But that night, for the first night since you arrived in the city, you slept in your own room. You didn’t fall asleep on the floor, giggling while Rooster passed out beside you. You didn’t fall asleep in the bed of your best friend, listening to him tell story after story of times you had spent together - in celebration of entering a new chapter of your lives, a new chapter together.
Instead, you spent your night sobbing, crying to anyone who would listen and begging for time to be reversed. Bradley cried the entire night, and with each passing moment, you considered just going into his side of the room and apologizing. Perhaps, you would be able to convince him you had nothing to do with Maverick’s decision, since he wasn’t in such an emotional state as he was earlier. But through and through, you kept your ground and remained in your room. And this would be the worst mistake you’d made. The last chance you had to apologize to him, to change his mind.
Not that it would have mattered, because while you progressed in the ranks, he needed to work his way back up to the top. When would you have even seen each other?
It had only been an hour since you had started to go to sleep, before you found yourself waking up and deciding to just stay awake until morning. Maybe then you would be able to escape the painful memories, but even awake, all you could do was wonder if it would help to just go and see him. To try and make things right… at three in the morning? Chances he was even awake were low, the best you could do was just spend an extra long time getting dressed and head out.
By the time you got to base, you were being sent right back to your room to change into a bathing suit and head for the beach.
“You sure Cyclone is gonna approve of this?” You asked Maverick, walking alongside him back to the recruits as you all packed into a van.
“He will, once he sees how it bonds them. We can’t have another outburst like Hangman’s, it’ll endanger the mission.” He explained, watching you finally acknowledge what he was doing. “Plus, I think you could do with some team bonding.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. I can’t watch you walk around like a kicked puppy anymore.” His words were blunt, but you could tell there was sincerity behind them. The both of you had come a long way in your friendship, especially considering the fact that years ago you would have punched him for even bringing that up. At the end of the day, what happened between you and Bradley wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for what Maverick did. But you’d both moved past that, and when he saw a small smile on your lips, he couldn’t be more grateful for that.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been off… I just-”
“You don’t have to apologize, I already know.” The trust was, he knew fully what you were going through because you had told him. He knew you were in love with Rooster - granted, everyone knew you were in love with Rooster, but he knew first hand because you outright told him. But it didn’t change the past, and the best thing you could do was pack into the car and go to the beach with your team.
The moment you arrived at the beach, it was like everything that was burdening you was off of your mind. The weight on your shoulders had been carried away from the warm rays of the sun, and the happy children playing off in the distance. You could only smile as the game began, knowing that you were going to do everything in your power to win it. It wasn’t that you wanted to show off, you were just competitive in nature.
Despite the objective of the game existing, it didn’t take any more than twenty minutes for you to just be throwing a ball back and forth between everyone. At some point, you’d chosen Phoenix to be your partner in the game, whatever that even meant since there no longer seemed to be an objective. It was utterly relaxing to just run around, keeping her back while people tried to knock her away from the ball. Despite your best efforts, though, you wound up on your ass rather quickly.
“Oh, that’s gotta hurt! You good, Apex?!” Hangman shouted from behind you, laughing as you gave a thumbs up. To say you were ‘on your ass’ would be… technically a lie. You fell face first, sitting up with a big grin on your face, despite the sand threatening to fall into your mouth as Phoenix helped you to your feet.
“I’m tapping out for a minute!” You said, motioning to the towel you had off to the side. As you went off to wipe your face, planting back down on the dry sand by the chairs, you didn’t notice someone approaching you until they were right in front of you, speaking to the woman on the ground with a towel covering her face as she fought with sand to make sure that it didn’t get lodged into her tear ducts.
“Sure you’re okay? Sand in your eyes is a bitch.” You removed the towel and glanced up, the shadow of the one and only Bradley Bradshaw keeping the sun from infiltrating your eyes.
“Is it gone? Did I get it all?” You asked, motioning to your face and watching him shake his head, as you went to bring the towel back to your face, you felt him snatch it from you and kneel next to you.
“Let me help, I’m pretty sure Cyclone will fire us all if he has to pay for your medical bills.” He said, placing two fingers on your cheek as he guided you to face him so he could wipe the sand off of you. “Close your left eye, there’s some on your eyelid.”
As instructed, your left eye fluttered closed as you fought to keep the right one open. “I don’t think that man likes a single one of us.”
“I don’t know, he seems to like you.”
“He tolerates me, I was his first pick to teach this mission.” You responded, shrugging it off as he paused, his eyes widening a bit.
“You’re kidding?” When you shook your head, indicating that you were, in fact, being truthful, “Wow, you really are an apex predator.”
“You can’t call someone a predator, Bradley. It’s not nice.”
“Shut up, it was a compliment.” You felt him flick a piece of sand as you as a laugh sounded from your throat. It was less than a few seconds after, when he finished cleaning the sand off of your face.
When the towel was pulled back, you could see him clear as day. So close that you could almost feel his breath on your face, that you could see every detail of his eyes that you missed so much. You wanted to tell him how badly you missed him, and as you held your gaze, all you could see was that same softness.
“You used my first name.” He said, in a tone so soft and quiet that you hardly heard it over the sounds of the beach. “I never thought you’d say it again.”
“Bradl-”
“I know you didn’t have anything to do with Maverick pulling my papers, he confronted me about it.” He said, louder than he was before. “I’m so sorry, I’m so f*cking sorry-”
“No, no. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left like that. I should’ve fought with you. Had I done that… god. What good did screaming at Maverick even do me?”
You felt an arm around your shoulder, followed by one around your waist as you were slowly pulled into a hug. You nearly melted into it as your arms wrapped around Bradley, as the rise and full of his chest lulled you into the most peaceful state you’d been in.
“I should’ve never assumed you had anything to do with that.” He said, running his hand through your hand as you let your head nestle into his neck. “I missed you.”
“I’ve barely been able to sleep since this mission started.” You admitted, feeling his breath catch beneath your head for a moment.
“Neither have I.”
You couldn’t help the way that you let your body completely melt into his touch, nor could he help the way that he held you tighter than he had probably ever held anyone before. It had been many years since you’d seen each other before this mission. Both older, wiser, and in completely different phases of your life despite being born months apart. Despite it all, everything felt like it was in place while you held onto each other, while the sounds of the beach faded away.
Eventually, though, you needed to pull back. There was only so long that you could cuddle a friend without anyone else wondering if something else was happening. A friend, a friend who you were sitting beside. After all this time, it only felt natural to pull away and smile at him, to feel that same smile reciprocated as he looked at you.
“God I missed you.” You mumbled, watching the smile only grow on his face. You couldn’t contain yours from matching it, sending back an almost toothy smile.
“I missed you too, so much.” He said, before standing up and holding out his hand. “Let’s go win this game.”
“Is there even an objective anymore?”
“Not really.”
From then out, the game was much easier. Whatever fun you’d been having before was doubled, while you worked well with Phoenix, you’d never stopped being able to coordinate with Bradley. It was as though you were reading each other's minds to everyone else there, with just how easy it was for you both to come out on top of just about every scenario. The only person, the one sole person, who was capable of defeating you both? Bob. Neither of you had anticipated Bob being as skilled as he was, so it came as a shock when he ended up being the one to win whatever strange points system you’d devised while everyone got distracted and forgot the actual objective of the game.
Even in loss, you couldn’t complain as you felt Bradley wrap his arm around you in a side hug. As you let your own arm wrap around him, while everyone gave you a consolation ‘good game’ and left it at that. He may have been sweaty from the game, and you sure were too. In this state, normally, you wouldn’t want anyone to touch you or even come within feet of you. But he was the exception to the rule, and it felt absolutely amazing being this close to him again.
It wasn’t too long after the game ended that Maverick called it and told everyone they were free to go home for the day. The team, however, had different plans. All it took was a slightly pleading glance from Phoenix to not leave her with all the guys for the night and an arm on slung around your shoulder from Rooster to get you to go to the bar with them.
The last time you were in this bar, you were unhappy and distracted. Assigned to fly for Top Gun, and assigned to work with the man you had missed for so long. Now, you were completely at peace. “You don’t drink on the job, do you?” Bradley asked, turning to you as you walked in with him.
“Never have, probably never will unless I get desperate.” You said, shrugging as you followed him to where he had decided to sit. Off at the bar, ordering non-alcoholic beverages for you both.
“Well, it’s only fair that neither of us drink, then.” He said, shrugging as he thanked Penny and took the drinks. You didn’t miss the knowing glance from her, as if she knew it was your friendship with Rooster that had been bothering you the other night. Truth was, you wouldn’t put it past Maverick to have told her about it since you knew they had a relationship in the past, one that you could count on them rekindling.
“Sounds like a good deal to me. You gonna do any more singing?” You asked, taking a sip of your drink and watching him turn to you with an almost amused glance.
“You caught the show?”
“Briefly, not like I could have said anything. It was a different time.” A different time being about a week ago, but it was completely different. At least, in terms of where you were in life and what your relationship with Bradley Bradshaw was like. That week ago, you had fled the bar because it was too painful to see him. Now, you were sitting beside him and chatting like nothing had ever really changed.
“Good thing we don’t ever have to go back to that, isn’t it?” He asked, and though he seemed a bit teasing in tone, you could see how sincere he was from the look in his eyes. He didn’t have to say much for you to know that he missed you just as much as you missed him.
You could only sigh and let your head lean against his shoulder, his arm fluidly wrapping around your waist. You’d both been a bit touchy-feely as friends before, but something felt different now. Perhaps it was just because you both knew what the pain of being apart was like, or perhaps it was just because you missed being able to hug, but either way, something had shifted.
“”I’ll put on a show on one condition.”
“What’s that, Bradshaw?”
“You sing with me.”
You nearly choked on your drink, glancing at him with a nervous expression in your eyes. “Isn’t it already weird that I’m here with the recruits?”
“You’re literally younger than Hangman.”
“True, but…” You couldn’t really think of any excuse other than that. You had been assigned to teach Top Gun, but you weren’t really a teacher, just sort of… an instructor. At the end of the day, you had no say in who was going to be on the mission and who wasn’t. Maverick had that authority, so who would it hurt if you let loose and had some fun with people your own age for once? Plus, you really did want to sing with Rooster, you’d always loved doing Karaoke with each other before.
“Is your silence a good sign?” He questioned, a big smile covering his face as one finally broke out on yours. It really only took one nod for him to drag you to your feet and take the plug out of the jukebox. You could see Penny deciding against scolding the both of you out of the corner of your eyes, and followed Bradley to the piano.
The first song he chose wasn’t really a duet, nor did either of you take turns when it came to singing. Phoenix had come to sing with you, Fanboy had sung a bit too. It wasn’t until the third song that you’d sung with him that it became more personal. A duet, a practiced one, too - it was the song you both instantly went to during karaoke. Slightly romantic, but not enough to make you spill your guts to him. This time, however, it felt different - just as everything else did. You wanted to spill your guts to him, you wanted to do it right in front of the entire bar just so they knew that he was loved. But as you looked at him, as he held eye contact with you while he sang, you just couldn’t. You’d only just gotten him back, how could you risk it?
Eventually, though, Penny insisted on plugging the jukebox in because some patrons no longer wanted to hear your beautiful voices. And both you and Bradley were off looking for things to do again.
“Hey, I’ll be back - I’m going to the bathroom.” You said, edging away from him for a moment. The entire night you’d been attached at the hip, so you could see him starting to glance around for something to do before nodding once he found Hangman and Bob nearing the end of a competitive pool game.
“Alright, see you in a few.”
As you stepped into the bathroom, you fully intended on getting into one of the stalls and allowing the call of nature before you heard Phoenix speak from the sink.
“I know it’s probably none of my business, but woman to woman, is everything okay with you and Rooster?” She asked, having just finished washing her own hands as she looked at you. You’d become friendly with Phoenix over the past week. While this was your first time spending much time with her off base, since thus far you hadn’t spent time with anyone out of work hours, you had become friends. So it came as no surprise that she was asking such a question.
“Everything’s okay now.” You answered, watching her wait for more of an explanation. You only sighed and glanced down at your feet. “I’m sure you know that Maverick pulled Rooster’s papers?”
“Yeah, he told me.”
“Right, well, Rooster and I were best friends. I was also close with Maverick, and he didn’t do anything to interfere with my time in the Navy. Rooster… blamed me. He was upset, and angry, and I didn’t bother to fight him on it, and we weren’t friends. Things are better now, he apologized, I apologized-”
“I think what I mean to say is… are you in love with him?”
“What?” You sputtered out, your eyes wide as you looked at her, a smile covering her lips as she approached you. The smile was understanding, genuine, akin to the one you’d gotten from Penny.
“I see the way you look at him. I think you should go for it, if my opinion counts for anything.” The one thing you’d been worried about was how other people would react to you being with him - the one thing, outside of his reaction, that is. But if other people didn’t bat an eye at a romance between yourself and Bradley, why should you?
“Your opinion counts for everything, Phoenix.” You answered, smiling back at her as you finally nodded. “I’ve been in love with him for a long time, I just don’t know how to tell him.”
“Tell him soon, we could all die on this mission and you don’t want to miss that chance. He clearly loves you back.” She said, slinking out of the room before you had a chance to question how she knew that.
A few more minutes was spent in the bathroom before you finally stepped back out, being greeted by Bradley the second you started to look for him. “Everyone went home after Bob won the pool game, you wanna get out of here too?” He asked, playing with the keys in his hand. The keys you recognized too well, from the car you hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Sleep, personally.”
“Sounds perfect.” The moment you were out of the bar, and into Bradley’s car, was when you realized just how tired you were. A yawn escaped your throat as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove to where his assigned room was, rather close to the bar anyway.
“Do you want me to take you to where they put you, or do you want to come in?” He asked, watching you with what you could only describe as caution. As if he wasn’t crossing some kind of boundary. You’d both always fallen asleep together before, sleeping together wasn’t the issue, it was that you had only just rekindled your friendship. But to you, that wasn’t an issue.
“I think I’d like to come in, yeah. You’ll just have to take me to change tomorrow morning.” You said, shrugging as you stepped out of the car.
“That I can do. We’re not in the Naval Academy anymore, our clothes don’t even match.” He said, walking with you to where he was staying, and quickly collapsing into bed. His bathing suit shorts weren’t at all wet anymore, and your bathing suit was dry as well. You were both pretty exhausted, so you wasted no time in shutting the lights off and getting into bed together.
“Yeah, and Vice Admiral Tight-Ass will have me fired on the spot.” You said, rolling your eyes as you turned to face him. The lighting was rather dim, but you could still see each other. You could see Bradley clearly as he turned to face you as well, your eyes locking together. “Be glad you don’t have to deal with him directly. Real stickler for the rules. It’s horrible.” You complained, watching the corner’s of his eyes crinkle as he smiled.
“We’ll deal with those tight-ass vice admiral’s together after this mission.” He said, your heartbeat speeding up at bit at his words.
“Promise?”
“I’m not leaving you again. I promise.” Your own smile covered your face as you leaned against him, letting his arms encircle around you as your head resting in the crook of his neck. Neither of you worried much about the alarm, knowing that he most likely had one set every day for the same time. And for the first time since you’d arrived there, you slept well in the arms of your best friend, not worried about the past - but looking toward the future.
The next morning was almost like a race against time as Bradley and yourself rushed around to try and get from one place to another and simultaneously look like you hadn’t spent the night together. But, it was well worth it since you made it to the base on time and he ended up getting there a little bit early. Your briefing with Cyclone was short, as it always was. He was very hands-on, in quite possibly the most annoying way. Of course, you understood he was doing his job, but having him breath down the necks of yourself and Maverick while you tried to explain your lesson for the day was one of the more tedious things you’d been forced to do since you joined the Navy.
By the time you made it to briefing, you were thoroughly irritated by your conversations with Cyclone, but not enough to let it show to anyone else. At least, anyone else that didn’t know you - Maverick and Rooster caught the annoyed glances every time Cyclone tried to interject in the lesson.
“This lesson is going to be a little different, though.” Maverick said, turning to face you as you knitted your eyebrows together. “You’re going to fly backseat.”
“I am?” You questioned, glancing to the papers you’d read to Cyclone earlier that morning. Papers which said nothing, absolutely nothing, about you flying backseat. You’d only flown in the backseat maybe two or three times, so you being in that position wasn’t something you were well-trained for.
“Apex, who was the only person you’ve flown back seat for?”
“You, but-”
“Apex here was my backseater a week ago when I did a Mach Ten training exercise.” He explained, your face softening on the confused expression as you started to realize where he was going with this. “I need you to help one of them, since you know what it’s like first hand. If anyone can stop someone from passing out, it’s you.”
It made a lot more sense as he explained it, as you remembered the F18 you were in crashing to the ground. You were the one that woke up Maverick, the one that made sure you weren’t too badly on fire, and the one that stayed completely calm under pressure when you started to burn in. Of course he wanted to you do the same for someone else, since he knew first hand that it was helpful to have you there.
“You’ll be backseater for Hangman and Rooster, is that okay?” You glanced to Cyclone for approval, he seemed ambivalent about it, which you took as a yes, or as close to a yes as you were going to get from that man.
“Yes, sir.” You responded, glancing toward the two men who you would be flying with. Rooster seemed just a little bit excited, while Hangman didn’t seem to care either way. Of course, the smug look that was always on his face remained, but you were pretty sure that was just how he looked at this point.
Soon enough, you were out of the briefing room and in your first F18 of the day. “I’ve gotta ask, how horrible is this going to feel?” Hangman asked, offering assistance (which you rejected) into his F18, before climbing into the front. “I don’t think it’s going to feel very good but… am I going to think I’m dying?”
“Yeah, you’re probably going to think you’re dying.” You caught him looking back at you, obviously expecting a joking expression on your face before seeing you completely serious. You noted the small smile dropping from his lips, replaced with concern. “Don’t worry too much about it, you’re a good pilot, and you’re already fast. If me and Maverick can survive it, you can too.”
“Maverick is a better pilot-”
“You can’t think like that in the air, Maverick has more experience, that doesn’t make him better.” You responded, watching him getting ready to take flight as he was given the signs to do so from the men on the ground. It was definitely interesting having a conversation with Hangman, especially considering he was never really the nicest person in the room.
“Surprised you’re being so nice to me, I didn’t think you liked me very much.” He said, putting his goggles down as you did the same.
“You’re not so bad, just co*cky.” You answered, shrugging as you watched the smile return to his face. It was almost like that smile was a permanent fixture of his features, but it definitely wasn’t the feature that someone could have on their face for the rest of their lives.
Within a few minutes, you were both masked up and in the air. The flight was nerve-wracking and you were almost glad you weren’t flying it solo. But you could see the tension radiating off of Hangman as you got closer to the target, But things didn’t go the way you wanted them to, and absolutely nobody hit the target. While Hangman had time to cool off after it, you were back into another F18 the second your feet touched the ground, this time with Rooster.
“How was the last one?” He asked, glancing back at you as you fasted yourself into the aircraft, glancing forward with a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t know, I didn’t have time to ask how he was doing.” You responded, glancing out at the runway as you watched Hangman pace around. “I almost passed out, though.”
“Are you sure you can do it twice?”
“One can only hope.”
There was obvious concern on his face, but you brushed it aside as you leaned forward to rest a hand on his shoulder. You could feel his hand covering your own for a moment before he got the signal in his ear that it was time to take off. You leaned back, glancing around to ensure that you were ready for take off, before leaning back in your seat.
Just like the last one, things didn’t go as planned. But you couldn’t help the way that you watched Rooster, the concern in your body as he missed the target. You didn’t want him to feel bad, or to feel like it was his fault, but you knew there was a chance of that anyway.
But the time to think about it was not as he pulled up, not as you felt yourself slipping closer and closer to unconsciousness. “You good back there Apex?” He questioned, the sound of his voice in your earpiece perking you up a bit.
“Fine, I’m fine.” You answered, not really feeling completely with the program as you felt your body getting lighter and lighter - despite the weight being applied to it being heavier and heavier. Any second longer and you surely would’ve passed out, but once you were back on the ground, you felt reality coming back to you a bit more.
“Let’s get you to a doctor.” Rooster said, quickly climbing out of the aircraft as he helped you out, walking with his arm slung around you to whoever could get you to see someone to help.
“I’m fine-”
“You’re gonna be fine, once someone checks you out.” As out of it as you were, it felt good to know that he was protective enough about you to want you to get medical help. But that medical help would never come as people came running down the hallways, as you heard Cyclone yelling something about a bird strike. Whatever dizziness or tiredness you were feeling quickly sobered up as the very terrifying reality of a burn in entered your mind.
You shared a glance with Rooster as you both followed where everyone else was running to, watching everything that was happening in the control room. Coyote had been falling, from what you had heard, It seemed as though he had passed out from the rate in which he was flying. Unsurprising that such a thing could happen, but the distraction of him falling had stopped anyone from monitoring that there may have been a flock of birds nearby.
They’d taken out an engine within the aircraft that held Phoenix and Bob, and left them scrambling to try and recover. But it was becoming increasingly clear that this was impossible. You could feel your fingernails digging into the soft flesh of your hand, trying to hide the nerves radiating off of you as you watched from afar.
It made you feel guilty. Guilty that you had been put in the sky with Hangman and Rooster, who had a lot less trouble staying awake than Coyote did. And even as Phoenix and Bob safely ejected, and had search and rescue coming to take them to the hospital, that guilt didn’t leave your body. Had they died out there, and you’d been standing around on the base not doing anything, you would’ve blamed yourself completely.
Before your thoughts could spiral too far, you were pulled into Cyclone’s office. Cyclone, who looked like he was ready to tear someone’s head off. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Maverick joined you in the office. “Do either of you realize what could’ve happened today?”
“I do, sir.” You responded, taking the forefront since he had made it clear that he liked you more than he liked Maverick. But whatever preference he had was out of the window as he glared at you both.
“Can I ask why you were backseater for two men who were more experienced than Coyote was?” He questioned, leaning forward. You could feel yourself shrinking smaller as his eyes locked with yours, feeling like you were a school child being scolded by the principal for making an inappropriate joke in class. This, however, was much worse than facing potential detention - Cyclone had the ability to resign you from flying ever again. To ground you, permanently, over a mistake.
“Apex was only following my instructions, sir.” Maverick answered, stepping forward. “I would have had her with Coyote too, if I didn’t believe it would have been too much for a human body to withstand.”
“Following your instructions, but she isn’t a student?” He questioned, standing up from his chair. “Let me ask you this, Apex, had you been the one instructing this course, what would you have done differently?”
“I-” You cut off, glancing at Maverick before looking back over at Cyclone. It was clear he was waiting for an answer, but the answer wasn’t coming. “I would’ve flown mission myself, sir.”
You could tell this was the answer he was looking for, from the almost satisfied expression on his face. But he resigned to sitting back in the chair. “Phoenix and Bob are in the hospital as we speak, there will be updates on their condition within the hour. You, Apex, would be in the hospital yourself had it not been for their burn in.”
Maverick’s head snapped to look at you, as your face rested in your hand. “I told Rooster I’m fine.” You mumbled, glancing at the ground before looking at both of them. “I’m fine.”
“What happened?” Maverick questioned, looking between you both for some kind of answer as to what he had missed while he was in the sky.
“The human body can’t handle two flights like that, not just three. She was on the verge of passing out upon landing.” It made you a bit nervous knowing that he had seen how close you were standing with Rooster, knowing something like that could be considered unprofessional. But with a wave of a hand, the entire idea of that had been dismissed. “But that’s neither here nor there. Training for the day is over, both of you can await news on Phoenix and Bob with the others and send them home for the night.”
With that, you were both dismissed. You hadn’t made it down even one hallway before Maverick pulled you into a corner. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t up for it?”
“I didn’t… consider it?”
“You didn’t consider it? How could you not consider it?” He asked, clearly infuriated that you had put yourself in danger like that.
“Aren’t you always telling everyone not to think while they’re in the air? I do what I’m told, and I do it well. I’m fine, Mav.” You responded, holding his gaze for a moment longer before seeing the hardness of his expression fade away.
“Don’t get yourself hurt like that again, no matter what I tell you.” He responded, moving away from you before walking to where he had been expecting everyone else to wait. “Which of them had a better grasp of it?”
“I’d say it was about even. They both have their strengths, but Hangman is a bit more reckless. I could tell he was beating himself up for missing the target more.” You responded, sitting down in the apparently empty room. “You know I’m partial to Rooster, I don’t see why you would ask about him.”
“Because I want to know how he’s doing.” He responded, but from the way he phrased it, you knew what the true meaning behind that was.
“We’re fine, we’re-” You cut yourself off, glancing down at your shoes. “We’re good, Maverick.” You asked him, watching a smile cover his face. You knew he blamed himself for you not being friends with Bradley for so long, he made it incredibly clear to you that he believed it was entirely his fault that the both of you weren’t friends. So you were positive that he was overjoyed, and relieved, that you were both close again.
“Are you still in love with him?” He asked, sitting beside you. A groan escaped your lips causing a laugh to tumble from his in response.
“What are we, high schoolers?”
“No, we’re adults talking out our emotions. Penny and I are trying again, I want to know if you’re ever going to try. Neither of you are getting any younger.” As blunt as his response had been, you knew he was just trying to be fully honest with you. And truthfully, he was entirely right.
“Yes, I’m still in love with him. I never stopped being in love with him.” You answered, glancing around the room as you became suddenly conscious of the fact that anyone could walk in. “I feel like I had this exact conversation with Phoenix last night.”
“Maybe if you didn’t look at him like he hung the moon, people wouldn’t catch on so easily.” He teased, watching you reach into your pocket and grab a pen, tossing it at him. Of course, he dodged it and only laughed harder at your completely embarrassed expression.
“I don’t-”
The sound of boots in the hallway stopped your conversation short, your smile falling back into nervousness as Warlock walked in. “Phoenix and Bob are okay, they’re being kept overnight for observation. You’re both dismissed for the night.” He said, letting you both go.
Yourself and Maverick split up, finding where everyone else had gone, and letting them know the news and that they were free to go for the night. While you left your last room, you watched Maverick do the same. There was something on his expression, something that told you that something bad had happened. You watched Warlock glance from you to Maverick, before Rooster walked out of the room.
“Ice is gone.” Maverick mumbled, walking in the other direction. The funeral had been planned extensively, something you had learned when Maverick came back from his visit with him. You knew that it was going to be soon, probably the next day or so. But with that in mind, you could only take Rooster’s side as you glanced at Warlock. He could only give you a sad glance, as he went in the same direction as Maverick.
You never really knew Iceman, you met him once or twice, but had never been overly friendly with him. He seemed like a good man, a man who looked out for the people he cared about. You couldn’t help the feeling of sadness that came over you following the news of the death, the initial shock of it wearing off as you felt Rooster wrap his arm around you, walking outside with you following.
“I don’t know what this means for the mission.” You said, getting into his car, feeling the overwhelming feeling of dread fill you. “Or my career.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ice is why Maverick was invited here in the first place, and now Cyclone is pissed at me for Phoenix and Bob-”
“You’re not getting grounded, if they even try I’ll ground myself.” He responded, keeping his arm firmly around you as he drove to his temporary home. For the first time, you were beyond grateful for the old design of his car, for the leather front seats being connected so you could sit hip to hip. With the fear of being grounded fresh on your mind, you couldn’t imagine being any further away from him than you already were.
The mood as you arrived back at his place was much more somber, as he passed you something to change into and went to change himself. There was still that same comfort that you had with each other as before, that trust to change in the same room and know that you wouldn’t be stared, or even looked, at. It was a trust you didn’t have with any other person, and one that you were glad wasn’t lost throughout the time spent apart.
By the time you were changed into the clothing of his, he had already laid down in the bed. It was interesting that neither of you really needed to question the fact that you were getting in bed together, that you needed to ask if it was okay or what to do once you were in bed. There was something completely comfortable, natural, about everything happening. If you were more confident, you would even call it domestic.
“Do you really think he won’t ground me?” You asked, turning to face Bradley. You felt him wrap an arm around your shoulder, urging you to move a little closer to him. As you scooted further into the middle of the bed, you let your head rest against his pillow, close enough that you could occasionally feel the tingle of his warm breath against your nose. At was as though the world was too loud for you to hear each other speak, that you needed to be as close as possible.
“Just because I punished you because of Maverick, doesn’t mean anyone else will. I think he would be an idiot to ground you.” He said, a smile crossing over your face as you felt the overwhelming urge to hug him.
“You know I forgive you for that, right?”
“I don’t really forgive myself.”
“We spent a lot of time apart, and it was a mistake. But we’re together now, and that’s all that matters.” You felt Bradley’s hand squeeze your shoulder as your hand moved up to cover it. Unlike when you were in the F18 there was no one to catch you, no one to wonder what the nature of your relationship was, and no one to stop you as your hand wrapped around his. His hand squeezed yours in return, your eyes never breaking contact as you watched each other.
But for just a moment, the questions of what everything going on between you both at this moment meant nothing. What would happen, would happen. If this was meant to be something other than platonic, then who were you to judge that? You’d been in love with Bradley Bradshaw for as long as you had known him, and there was no reason for you to get in your head about the more than friendly nature of your friendship. Not with the way he looked at you, and not with the way that you knew you were looking at him. You couldn’t help but consider your conversations with Maverick and Phoenix, wondering if perhaps you should just act on your emotions.
“Thank you,” Your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at Bradley. He elaborated on his point the moment you looked at him with confusion, though. “I never thanked you for being there when my mom… you know I just- you were the only person that was really there for me. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me for that. I wouldn’t leave someone I love hurt like that.” ‘I love you’s’ has been exchanged throughout your entire friendship. You exchanged them with all of your friends, you’d probably told Maverick you loved him a couple dozen times as well. But something felt different this time, like you were confessing your emotions to him without being completely up front about it.
“I love you, too.” He answered, a small smile covering his lips as he watched you do the same. It was definitely different, coming from both of you. But perhaps you didn’t have to think about that. It could be what it was, and there was no reason to think too hard about it.
It took very little time for both of you to pass out, knowing that you would need to be up early the next morning for a funeral. To nobody’s surprise, you were en route to the funeral in no time. It was the first military funeral you had attended, but it was something you were sure you would never forget. Iceman was such a big part of one of your closest friends lives, and he was someone who just about anyone in Top Gun had looked up to at some point. Walking through the hallways and seeing pictures of him, encouraging you to continue on throughout the day. It was something special he had done when he was there, an impact quite unlike anyone else’s. It was hard to see him go, to see one of your own go, but you could only hope he was in less pain wherever he was.
Once the funeral was over, everyone was allowed to go home for the day. Everyone except for yourself and Maverick, who were called back into Cyclone’s office. While Maverick tried to explain to him that he would be willing to continue the mission, it came as no surprise to hear Cyclone say that he wouldn’t be welcome to - that he was going to be permanently grounding him. You knew without Iceman’s support it was incredibly likely that he would be dismissing Maverick.
Without even a chance to ask about your fate, Maverick was sent packing. You felt like there was a lump in your throat as you felt the icy gaze of Cyclone, with no one to protect you from whatever biting comment it was that he had in store. You felt incredibly vulnerable, as though the career you had worked so hard to build would be taken from you at any moment because you were friends with Maverick, because you had run this course the same way he had.
“I’m not going to be asking you to take over for Maverick.” He started, clearly noting the way your face deflated before quickly continuing. “I won’t be grounding you, either.”
“Sir?”
“I understand that you’re close friends with Maverick, and I struggle to understand what’s going on between yourself and Rooster. But you were who I wanted to run this training exercise in the first place, and I would still like you around to help me, the same way you’ve been helping Maverick.”
As the silence in the room remained, you could tell that he was growing impatient. There was some part of you that wanted to accept this and move on, some part of you that didn’t value the loyalty of your friendship with Maverick. That part of you believed you were being given a choice, but that belief was sorely incorrect.
“That wasn’t up for debate, Apex. These are your orders, accept them, or I’ll have you grounded.” He explained, though as he spoke, you could almost see a bit of remorse. “I would hate to ground you, you have one of the more interesting careers I’ve witnessed.”
A sigh escaped your lips as you nodded, “I understand, sir. Thank you.” You answered, walking out of the office. You weren’t surprised to see Maverick waiting down the hall for you, obviously noting that you hadn’t driven yourself to base.
“Need a ri-”
The sentence leaving his mouth was interrupted as you nearly tackled him in a hug, feeling a comforting hand rest on your back. “I’m sorry- he ordered me to stay or-”
“It’s okay, I didn’t expect you to drop the mission. Not for me, not for anyone.” You could only sigh again, still feeling like you were some sort of terrible friend. “Now we’re even, right?”
“For what, pulling Rooster’s papers?”
“Yeah, that.”
“I guess so.” You replied, pulling back from the hug. “I’m so sorry he grounded you, I’ll talk to someone about this. You’ll be back in, I swear.”
“I don’t think there’s anyone that can get me back in, at this point.” For the first time in a long time, you heard Maverick utter your first name, a small smile covering your lips at the sound of it.
With a nod, you turned toward where you would be going to leave the base. “We don’t want to keep Penny waiting, Pete.” You said, walking with him toward the door. Once you were out, you were both surprised to see Bradley parked outside, clearly waiting for you to finish up.
“Go with him, we’ll talk later.” He said, giving you one last side hug before letting you get into Bradley’s car. He could tell from the lack of tears on your cheeks that you hadn’t been grounded.
“He grounded Mav, not me. He threatened to ground me if I disobeyed my orders.’
“f*cking dick.” He muttered, starting up the car as he drove in the opposite direction of the place he was staying at. You didn’t bother to question it, assuming that he was going to take you to the bar before he pulled up in front of the beach - the very same beach that you all had been playing football on not too long ago.
The both of you were rather wordless as he grabbed a blanket and walked out near the water with you, far enough away that you didn’t have to worry about getting wet, but close enough that the sound of the tides against the beach were audible to you both. It was truly a beautiful sight, the moonlight reflecting over the water as the warm summer air kept you both warm. You sat beside Bradley on the blanket, watching him to see what his plan was.
“I just thought that this would be a calming place to go.” He said, shrugging off whatever question you had as a small smile covered your lips. Neither of you were really happy with what had happened, and it didn’t seem very fair that Maverick was being grounded just because Cyclone didn’t like him. Perhaps there was more to it, more than either of you understood, but it seemed that it was nothing more than a personal vendetta against someone who you cared about, someone who didn’t deserve for something like that to happen.
As much as Bradley had been angry about what Maverick had done to him, about him pulling his papers at the Naval Academy, about how much that had impacted his career with the navy and had set him back four year, you knew this was upsetting to him too. You could tell that he didn’t want this to happen to Maverick, that there was a certain pang of hurt on his features because he could never bring himself to hate the man, no matter how much what he did had hurt him.
“He didn’t even put me in charge of the mission, you know that? He put himself in charge of the mission, and I just know that he’s going to do everything wrong.” You complained, watching Bradley turn from the lake to look at you. “Whoever gets picked as Team Leader… I have absolutely no say in it.”
Bradley scoffed and shook his head, glancing back toward the water. “You should be doing more than dealing with this right now, you know that, right? You’re better than this, he knows it too.”
“Yeah, well, orders are orders I guess.” You replied, sighing and looking over at him. You couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he looked with the moonlight shining over his face. The darkness of the night sky, contracted with the lights on the beach and the white-ish blue from the moon accentuated the scars on his cheek and chin, the couple on his neck appearing more pronounced as well. You’d always loved Bradley’s scars, even when he was insecure about them.
“Why did he pull my papers?” He asked, turning to look at you. His eyes softened when he saw how you had been looking at him, the exact same way that Maverick had described to you.
“I wish I knew. No matter how many times I asked him, he told me it was to protect you. Maybe that was the full truth, but he would never tell me. Probably knew I’d just go and tell you.” You said, thinking back to that night that you had screamed at Maverick for pulling Bradley’s papers, the night that you had tried time and time again to get whatever it was that he wouldn’t tell you out in the open. But no matter how hard you tried to get him to open up about it, he never did. “I gave him a real earful about it, too.”
“Oh, I know. The other day when I told you he said you didn’t know… he told me all about that screaming match.” He said, a smile gracing his lips as he looked over at you. He could only laugh at the embarrassed expression on your face, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as his hand messed up your hair. “I appreciate it, though, don’t worry.”
As Bradley leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, you couldn’t help the elevation in your heart rate. The thing about your friendship with him was that it was never orthodox. Half of the people you met believed you were dating, the other half thought you were both on the verge of dating. You held hands, kissed each other on any place but the lips from time to time, hugged and spent half of the day attached at the hip. To them, these things were inherently romantic, but to both of you, it was just the way that your friendship was built. Maybe you had always been on the verge of dating, you really never denied from yourself that you were in love with him. But you never considered that to be a factor into it, not until now, when you continually believed there was some sort of shift in your relationship.
Once he pulled back slightly you turned to look up at him, whatever sad and somber mood you’d both been in before was completely lost on you as you looked at each other with goofy grins. For the first time since you’d rekindled your friendship, you didn’t have to remind yourself that things were back to normal now - they just were.
“You can be such an idiot.” You teased, bringing your hand up so you could trace over one of the scars on his cheek. “It’s like… endearing though, don’t worry.”
“I know that, I wasn’t worried.” He replied, letting his own hand rest on your cheek. “Do you think we look weird to anyone else here?”
“Bradley, there’s nobody else here.” You teased, deadpanning as he listened to see if anyone else was in the general area. “Thought what was why it would be calming to you.”
“No, I just like the moon, I think it’s calming.” He wasn’t wrong, the moon had always been rather calming to you as well. But the way he had explained it didn’t fail to make you laugh, he really was one of the goofiest people you had ever known, when you really thought about it. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why you loved him quite as much as you did.
As both of you calmed down from your laughing, everything in the atmosphere seemed to shift. You realized that what you were doing didn’t look weird, it looked intimate, it looked like you were about to lean up and kiss him like you’d been dreaming about doing for as long as you’d known each other. You felt, for just a mere moment, that he was leaning in a bit. Something confirmed by the warmth from his body encapsulating you further than it had been before.
While he leaned closer to you, you noticed the glance from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help yourself from doing the same. You were right on the verge of it, almost close to breaking that thresh-hold, when you heard a holler from up near the bar.
“Don’t stop on our accounts!” You looked up only to see Hangman and Phoenix, Phoenix who was punching Hangman in the arm and trying to mouth her apologies to you both while you and Bradley moved out of each other’s arms.
“We were just talking, Hangman! I leaned in because I couldn’t hear him!” You yelled up, deciding that it would be best to tell some pathetic lie to hide what was actually transpiring - well, what you thought was transpiring. Whatever moment was going on between you two, whatever line was about to be crossed, was completely lost on you both. With one glance toward each other you were up in the bar in minutes and celebrating with everyone else.
What all of you were celebrating was beyond you, but it was nice to be able to bond with everyone. Nice to be able to make more friends than just Bradley and Maverick. Even though none of the others knew that they were going to have a new instructor in the morning, there was no need to make them worry about that. For just one night, you believed you were capable of forgetting about the stress of the mission while you bonded with the members of your team.
By the time you and Bradey stumbled through his bedroom doors you were effectively passed out, relying on his alarm clock to kick you into action mode in the morning. Since you had started staying with him, he’d been setting his alarm clock an hour earlier so you had time to go home and properly get ready for the day. Regardless of how long this assignment had been going on, and regardless of how comfortable you were with everyone knowing you and Bradley were close, you still had to value your professionalism above all else.
When the morning came, you were both quick to have you dressed and back to your place where you could get ready for the day before arriving at the base. At some point, you’d decided not to arrive separately since other people in the assignment were carpooling with Bradley as well. Namely, Payback and Fanboy. It was sort of unspoken at this point, that you’d all end up in the same car going to the same place even though you needed to be there a half hour before they did - nobody really minded having the extra prep time.
Once you arrived, you couldn’t help your somber expression as you entered your first day of the assignment without Maverick. The mission was less than three days away at this point, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was even possible under the guidance of Cyclone.
“You’re here early, Apex.” Warlock said, causing Cyclone to look up from his notes.
“I’m on time, sir.” You responded, glancing at the clock on the wall for a moment. This was the same time you arrived every morning, but things were different without Maverick here. You weren’t ready to instruct Top Gun alone, and even though Cyclone was taking over for him for the last few days, you knew that your responsibilities would be greater with him gone. Even with that, the most overwhelming feeling taking over your head was the guilt of being here after your friend was grounded, even though it wasn’t your choice to begin with.
“There’s nothing to go over, Apex. You may join the team.” Cyclone answered, returning to the notes that he was taking down. He seemed incredibly focused on whatever he was doing, so you decided that it was probably going to be best to leave him undisturbed - the man disliked you anyway, there was no reason to make it worse.
“Understood, sir.”
The moment you were out of the office it was as if the world got a bit lighter, you could never shake just how nervous you were that any moment in there was a moment you risked being grounded. It wasn’t that Cyclone was a bad guy, or that he wanted your career to fail for some reason, it was just that he had some sort of personal vendetta against one of your closest friends. A vendetta that had your friend grounded, and you knew that the man took professionalism in the workplace incredibly seriously. If he caught wind of the fact that you’d been sharing a bed with Rooster for the past few nights, you knew you would be taken off of this assignment in an instant.
A sigh escaped your lips as you joined everyone else in the break room, grabbing a cup of water as you sat down beside Phoenix and across from Rooster.
“I take it he didn’t want to see you?” Phoenix asked, Rooster adding in a look of sympathy as you gave them both a tight-lipped smile. You could feel the eyes of the other recruits, the tension radiating off of you must have alerted them to a problem.
“Something like that, yeah.” As of yet, Rooster was the only person in the room that knew that Maverick was no longer going to be instructing Top Gun, the only one other than you, that was. While it wouldn’t really change anything if you were to go ahead and tell them, you figured it would be more professional to just keep that information to yourself.
“Don’t worry about it, we’re much better company.” Hangman said, sliding into the seat next to you. His co*cky attitude radiated off of him, but after flying with him, you felt a lot more comfortable with his presence. Even if he didn’t let on, you knew there was something more than that in his heart.
“I think a piece of cardboard would be better company than Cyclone, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.” You responded, patting his shoulder as you took a sip of your water. “That doesn’t leave this room, by the way.” You warned, pointing at all three people at the table.
“I conquer.” Phoenix replied, the other three agreeing before dropping the subject of what had happened upon arrival all-together.
As you spent your time talking with them, you couldn’t help but reminisce on how much you missed spending time with people in your own age-range. You were surrounded by admirals and veterans twice your age every single day, and while you were grateful to rank so highly at a younger age, you couldn’t help but miss spending time with people like this. It was a big relief to be around them, and that they’d accepted you so happily into their little group of recruits.
Before you knew it, everyone in the room was brought into the conference room. You were sat next to Warlock as Cyclone went over his presentation, but everything he said was something you couldn’t help but disagree with. The time he was setting didn’t just have the possibility of getting whoever flew the mission killed, it was a death sentence for them. It seemed like he was just going out of his way to disprove everything that Maverick had been trying to teach, but was only proving that he had a small understanding of what was actually going to be happening.
Thankfully, everyone else understood this as well. Nobody was on board with the things that were being told to them, and before you could voice your opinion, an F18 entered the atmosphere. The moment Maverick’s voice sounded through the intercom system you caught the annoyed glance of Cyclone, only responding with a look in an attempt to convey that you had no idea he was going to be there.
As Maverick continued on flying, not all-too-worried about whatever people could possibly be saying about him back at the base, you knew that he was doing the one thing that he had been accused of not being able to do: prove that this mission was possible. Not only possible, but that it was only survivable if everyone followed the parameters that he had set. You couldn’t help the way that your eyes found Rooster, and it touched your heart to see that he almost looked proud of Maverick once he had finished the training exercise. You knew how much it had hurt Maverick when Rooster distanced himself from him, so you couldn’t help but hope that they would be able to rekindle their bond.
“Hondo, Apex, you’re going to take over training for today. Warlock, come with me.” You could see the thinly veiled irritation on Cyclone’s face as he brought Warlock to his office. You were sure that Maverick was going to be getting an earful whenever he returned from the air, but for now, you just needed to worry about the recruits.
The training day was cut short when a storm rolled in and everyone was forced to fly back. While it was important to be prepared for inclimate weather, it wasn’t worth risking the aircrafts. Everyone returned home for the night, curious and anticipating what could possibly happen to Maverick - whether or not Cyclone was going to reconsider what he had said.
Your question was answered around sunset, as you sat in front of the king bed in Rooster’s room, his head lulled back against it as he snored next to your ear. A text rolled in from Maverick letting you know that he was being assigned team leader. A small smile covered your face as you finally allowed yourself to rest for the night, texting him back how happy you were that he wasn't grounded anymore, before letting yourself fall asleep on the ground as well.
Right before you fell asleep, though, you couldn’t help but think about how reminiscent this all was of your times spent with Bradley when you were younger. Both of you would sit on the floor, right in front of the bed and the television, and watch movies until you passed out. It was almost a tradition that you did it at least once a trip, even if you ended up feeling rather sore from sleeping sitting up on a hard ground the next day.
The next couple of days were spent preparing, making sure that everyone was getting better at hitting the target. You established pretty early on that you would be kept as a dagger spare along with whichever person wasn’t chosen as Wingman, so a majority of your work was just monitoring everyone else and guiding them through intercoms in their helmets. Everything felt much more natural to you now, being close to Bradley again and having Maverick still on the team was a feeling that was incredibly familiar to you. The only worry was how dangerous this mission was. Even with the practice, you could see how hard it was for everyone when they got up near coffin corner. It would be a dog-fight on the way home, and you knew that whoever was in the air that day would run the risk of not coming back.
But those last days all lead up to the moment you were dreading. Maverick had offered to tell you who he was picking to fly with him, he’d offered to tell you the night before, and he’d offered to tell him in the morning when you met with Cyclone for debriefing. But you refused him, every time. You didn’t want to know, you didn’t want to give it away or worry about it for any longer than you had to. There was a deep conflict in your spirit about who was going to be flying this mission. You’d become friends with all of these people over the past few weeks, and the idea of any of them risking their lives was something you didn’t take lightly. But there was one person, one life, that you seemed to value above all others - even your own.
That life was Bradley Bradshaw’s. You wanted him to be named wingman, you knew that he would be crushed if he didn’t get it and you could see how hard he was working to be even better than he already was. He was the only person to reach the target during the exercise, even if he took a moment too long. But that was where your worry struck, your worry that he was going to get in that F18 and never come home.
You could see the nerves radiating off of Bob and Phoenix as they were named, but you could also see them coming off of Rooster. Hangman didn’t seem to mind, he seemed confident that he was going to be chosen, so when Rooster was chosen, you didn’t miss the look of surprise in his face. You also didn’t miss the look of shock in Rooster’s, as though he didn’t believe that Maverick was ever going to choose him to do something as dangerous as this after pulling his application to the Naval Academy.
The prep for the mission was instantaneous. One moment, people were being named, and the next moment everyone was getting changed into the proper mission attire. After a few moments of getting your own F18 ready to await further instruction if need be, you noticed Bradley coming out onto the runway and dropped everything. It was almost as if he was anticipating your actions as he pulled you into a hug, letting your head rest against his chest as you held him as tightly as you could.
After a moment you pulled back, grabbing his cheeks into your hands as you forced him to look at you. “I’m so proud of you, Lieutenant Bradshaw.” You commented, a smile covering your lips. “You better come back.”
“I’ll try, I always try.” He answered. Though there was a smile on his face, you could tell that he was just as nervous about this as you were. You sighed as you hugged him again, knowing that this could be the last time you could ever do such a thing. While both of you accepted the risks of being a fighter pilot, you didn’t want to lose him.
Bradley himself knew the pain of losing someone on a mission. Even if he was young when his father died, and the memory was faded and only amplified by the memories of the other people involved, he knew what it would feel like for you if he didn’t return from this.
As you released each other, knowing that you were on a tight schedule, you felt the urge within you to just tell him how you felt. It could be the last chance to do so, and you knew that. But as Hangman approached, giving you the signal that it was time for both of you to get into the position of an extra body, you decided that it would be better if it waited. What good was spilling your guts in front of everyone, anyways? That would be a bad omen if you ever saw one, more of a goodbye than a ‘see you later’. You promised yourself, as you boarded your aircraft, that you would tell Bradley Bradshaw just how in love with him you were if he came back in one piece - even if he came back in more than one piece.
The moment they took off, you were counting down the moment until they were going to be back. You took the first few moments before they set their timers to make sure that your F18 was completely functional if the need for you to take off were to arise. You could see Hangman doing the same thing out of the corner of your eye, and it only served to remind you that even if you thought you were the best, there was always someone on the same page as you.
“What are the chances we’re flying today, Apex?” He asked, distracting you from the sounds coming from your helmet as you looked over at him.
“You never know. It’ll be a dogfight to get out of coffin corner… I would say about fifty-fifty.” You responded, seeing him somehow manage to simultaneously perk up at the idea of taking flight and dim at the fact that it would be in case someone was taken out of the sky.
Both of you had your attention back to the people already in the air as they started their timers. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you listened, as it sounded like Rooster was falling behind. You wished, more than anything, that you could have been there to remind him that he needed to trust his instincts. But as you listened to Maverick talk, you knew that he wasn’t alone out there. Even dropping blind, Rooster was able to hit the target and take off.
But that relief that flowed through you didn’t last long as they started going up the mountain, as you heard them shouting about smoke in the air and fighting off enemy Sam’s. It was a dogfight, just as everyone knew it was going to be. But what you hadn’t anticipated was the sound of Rooster saying that he was out of flares, the sound of people saying that Maverick was hit and that Rooster couldn’t go back for him. You hardly even heard Hangman asking if he could be sent in as well over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. It wasn’t until you heard them saying that Rooster was going off course that you knew something was wrong - something was very, very wrong.
It wasn’t more than two minutes after the other four people in the air landed that you heard Hangman bringing you out of your near-panic attack, as the sound of your own breath reminded you that you were alive.
“You need to stay with us, Apex.” He said from across you, glancing behind him. “You wanna be my backseater?”
“Thought we weren’t cleared to fly?” You questioned, snapping out of your thoughts as you watched him. You knew he was co*cky, but you didn’t know he was co*cky enough to defy orders.
“Last I checked, your boyfriend is out there looking for Maverick right now and his F18 just got taken out by bandits.” You blinked, barely even noticing him calling Rooster your boyfriend as you heard his aircraft had been taken out. While the entire world seemingly went dark for you, you must have missed that he’d been taken to the ground. “Our instructor is always telling us not to think, so let’s not think.”
With one last glance toward the base you hopped out of your F18 and switched into his, securing yourself in the backseat as he prepared for take off. You both ignored the sounds of people in the control room asking where you were going, why you weren’t remaining on the ship while you were supposed to. All that mattered was at the very least finding Rooster, even if you weren’t going to find him alive.
Hangman was a fast pilot, he had no trouble navigating under the radar even under as much pressure as he was. You were both too focused on your earpieces to bother talking. When he heard that there was a signal from Rooster, he was quick to instruct you to keep the radar on.
“He’s not too far from here, Northwest.” You responded, continuing to guide him through enemy territory. Despite seeming more reckless than most, Hangman was an incredibly cautious pilot when he needed to be. He kept himself far away from anything that could get you both killed, listening to you when you said not to go one particular way, or to go a different one.
Even if he didn’t seem like the easiest person to fly with, and there was a reason he flew alone, he was more professional than people ever really gave him credit for.
“I have to ask, why are you going out of your way to help them? Thought you left people out to dry?” You asked, noticing him glance back for a moment, keeping his eyes steady. One bandit had just been taken out, you both knew that there wasn’t much time before another one would be inbound, and Maverick and Rooster were most definitely out of ammunition at this point, especially since they were flying an F14.
“I’m not that much of an asshole, Apex.” He answered, but you could tell he wasn’t really offended by what you said. “Abandoning my wingman during a training exercise is one thing, abandoning Maverick and Rooster and leaving them to die is another.”
You nodded before giving him one last direction. He was quick to take note of the scene - the bandit was on the nose of an F14, the one you knew to contain Maverick and Rooster. Had either of you wasted one more second and the both of them would be dead, but as Hangman let his missile fly toward the bandit, they were both saved at the very last minute.
Hangman pulled up next to them, lightening the mood with his fake pilot narration. Even then, he had to take the time to be a bit co*cky about what had happened. As you looked over at the plane, your eyes caught Rooster’s for a moment, and you felt the palpitations in your chest come to a standstill as you were given visual confirmation that he was alive and breathing, that they both were.
“Nice to see you two working together.” Maverick commented, but the moment couldn’t last long with the damage their aircraft had sustained. Yourself and Hangman were the first to land, quickly clearing the runway so there was room for the other two. You both felt pats on the back from the other men on the ground, appreciative that you’d bent the rules to go and save them.
Once they landed, though, you took off running. The entire runway was crowded and busy, though, Hangman disappeared in the crowd. The first person you made contact with was Maverick, letting him hold you in a hug for just a moment before he released you. He pointed behind him, giving you whatever confirmation or permission it was that you needed for you to sprint toward Bradley.
He let out a grunt as you nearly tackled him in a hug, Phoenix and Hangman moving aside so you could reunite with each other. You pulled back from it, giving yourself just enough room to confess your feelings before you felt his hands on your cheeks, pulling your face to his as your lips crashed together. It was a moment you’d been waiting for since you first met him, to know what that mustache would feel against your upper lip, to feel his lips and know how he kissed.
But in that moment, whatever pain you’d gone through when you were apart from him, whatever worry you had when he took off for the mission, was all wiped from your mind as you kissed him. The kiss was incredibly needy and rushed, but something so full of love that you felt like your heart could burst. You felt his forehead against yours as you broke apart, your eyes slowly opening to meet his.
“I’m in love with you, Bradley.” You mumbled, trying to keep the moment private despite being surrounded by people. You were true to your promise to yourself, and you were damn-glad that you were as you watched a smile spread over his lips.
“I’m in love with you too,” The way he muttered your name was more tender than you had ever heard him, one last kiss pressed to his lips as you released him to talk with Maverick.
While they had their moment together, you moved over so you could let Phoenix and Bob embrace you, telling them both about how, “I don’t want to stroke his ego, but Hangman wasted no time taking to the sky to save them.” - a compliment which he greatly appreciated.
The chaos of the day faded away as everyone went home for the night, as you packed your bags to leave the assignment. You weren’t sure where you were going, but you knew you were going to go with Bradley. But where that ended up being wasn’t too far away, once you both ended up sitting in Maverick’s garage, the wall of pictures of Goose and Maverick staring you down as Rooster started to take over fixing the aircraft that Maverick was working on.
Maverick bid you both goodbye’s as he left with Penny, Bradley wrapping an arm around your shoulder as they faded into the distance.
“We should go on vacation.” Bradley commented, moving between your thighs as you sat on the ledge of one of Maverick’s desk. You let your hands curl around his Hawiian shirt, a smile covering your lips as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to them. You would never get tired of feeling his lips against yours, you just couldn’t help but wish that you’d started kissing each other a whole lot sooner.
“Where did you have in mind?” You asked once he pulled back, bringing one of your hands to his neck as you traced over the raised scar tissue presented to you. Even if he was sometimes insecure about the scars on his face and neck, you would always love them more than he could know.
“Anywhere with you is good.” He responded, shrugging as you hopped off the desk and grabbed his hand, leading him to his car.
“Let’s go then, we’ve wasted too much time.” You teased, smiling as you felt him press you against the car. You peppered a few kisses on his cheek before he pulled you into another slow, delicate dance. You couldn’t help the goofy smile that covered your lips as you let out a laugh at absolutely nothing, just sheer happiness that you were finally as close as you always wanted to be with him.
“We can stand to waste a little more, can’t we?” He teased, letting his hand graze over your hip as you pulled his face back to yours. Time could be such a cruel thing, filled with so much pain, but the one thing you knew was that you had the rest of your life to be in love with Bradley Bradshaw - because your love could last forever.
